Advice to a 21-year old girl prior to her wedding day in the mid-sixties: “You’re marrying a man who’s going off to war, and you’re going to live with this for the rest of your life.” What a profound statement! We have heard about soldiers suffering from PTSD and TBI…exhibiting hypervigilance, quick temper, isolation, ongoing emotional escapism, and guilt to name a few. THEY NEVER GO AWAY! What about those spouses and families who have to live with this veteran? This documentary focuses on 11 wives of combat veterans who tell their stories.
I Married the War: Women fight for their loved ones who live with the trauma of war
(Boise, Idaho, November 29, 2021) Idaho filmmaking team Betty and Ken Rodgers at Syringa Cinema have announced their documentary film, I Married the War, a story of war, homecoming, loss, resilience. A story of love.
As long as mankind has waged war, women have waited and welcomed their warrior’s home, only to discover that the conflict dogs their husbands’ footsteps, bringing with it hypervigilance, isolation, anger, substance use, and emotional escapism—all manifestations of posttraumatic stress.
I Married the War gives voice to Anne Ohki of Santa Rosa, CA, and 10 other wives of combat veterans from World War II to present-day Middle East wars. They are known as military caregivers, and they represent more than 5.5 million such caregivers in our nation alone.
Listen as these remarkable women expose the emotional cost of war and its painful impact on their families. Learn how they cope, how they heal, and how they protect those they love. Share their struggle to hold on to their own hopes and desires.
We see clearly how they’ve learned to adapt to life with their husbands’ physical and/or mental injuries. We see them caught in the middle, protecting their children from their father’s sudden outbursts of anger.
We also see their strength, their commitment, and their love.
The women in “I Married the War” share their personal struggles while not losing sight of their own hopes and desires.
Their heroically candid and sometimes wrenching stories bring to life the ways in which families are impacted and forever changed by the unique personal struggles, victories, and defeats experienced by our country’s veterans.
Betty and Ken married nearly forty years ago, Betty knew nothing about Post Traumatic Stress, Traumatic Brain Injury, and the many other manifestations of the trauma of combat. Ken had served as a Marine and experienced the 77-day siege of Khe Sanh during the Vietnam War.
While producing and showing their award-winning film Bravo!, Common Men, Uncommon Valor, a documentary about the men who lived through that siege, Ken and Betty met hundreds of military caregivers. Betty recognized herself and her own marriage and personal experience in the lives of these women. The pair realized how silent and unseen the plight of military caregivers is, and they were determined to make it visible.
Six years in the making, I Married the War is now available. The Rodgers are former long-time residents of Sebastopol, CA, where they were very active in the Sonoma County literary arts community.
“…a nuanced, heartbreaking, and, most of all, magnificently inspiring film.” — Siobhan Fallon, author of You Know When the Men Are Gone
“A moving, fascinating, informative, haunting, inspiring film. It’s utterly stunning.” — Jean Hegland, author of Into the Forest
“I Married the War is must viewing for military wives and their war-veteran husbands.”
– Marc Leepson, Arts of War
“The two filmmakers have done more than make a film. They have drawn attention to a heart-breaking problem, and are calling for much more support for spouses of combat veterans.”
– Don Schwartz, film critic
For more information about this film, please click on the following link: https://imarriedthewar.com/
If you are interested in reading an earlier article about this groups’ first documentary, Bravo! Common Men, Uncommon Valor, you’ll find it here: https://cherrieswriter.com/2014/11/20/the-bloody-battle-of-khe-sanh-77-days-under-siege-guest-blog/
Information for this article was obtained from a press release by Katrina Markarian/Segue Entertainment and Betty Rogers. Photos copied from the film FB page: https://www.facebook.com/imarriedthewar
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CherriesWriter - Vietnam War website 
One Great Reminder Of the Women who Held Their Ground Too.
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Oh, yes! And so well expressed by the women in the film.
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Although I served in RVN for in excess of 30 months. I could not get enough out of this article to offer any opinions.
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Ya need to see the video…!
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Our women are just as strong as us!
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One of the supporters involved with the film said, “These women are the backbone of America.” So true.
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Thanks of lot Herr Podlaski,
I’ve been following your meritorious site for years, appreciating how much you do with commitment and dedication, for veterans, even telling the stories lived through direct testimonies of those who have suffered and suffered, helps so much veterans and their families to understand how such experiences are not erasable, from memory and the inner wounds that these wounds produce, night after night, day after day.
I live in Italy and my grandfather, whom I never met, fought in Northern Europe WWI wearing the uniform of the United States of America. He worked at the Midvale Steel Industries in Philadelphia, which manufactured armaments, and enlisted to fight with honor, as an Italian immigrant, on French soil, against the Germans.
In the early eighties, the war in Indochina had just ended and remembering my grandfather, I wrote to the Veteran Administration in Washington to make myself available for anything there was need in favor of veterans. They graciously replied thanking me for my availability.
In 1985, with a visa for one year (… normally granted with an expiry date of one month) I went to the U.S. to try to do something for veterans, not being able to support myself I had to return to Italy, with disappointment and anguish of not being able to achieve what I wanted, any help for their suffering, physical and mental.
In recent years I have written a few articles taking up the testimonies of veterans from the war in Viet Nam, perhaps, in some way, this is the small contribution I could give. After all, in a nation, like Italy, which at the time of the war was not close to the United States, at least in public opinion, almost entirely sided with the left, in the student uprisings, in favor of Ho Chi Minn barricade’s, these writings of mine, after so many years, aim to take the side of the less popular, the uncomfortable, politically incorrect, in favor of the American soldiers, who lost their young lives far from home, while those who have returned are still trying to put their lives back in order, like putting back together a shattered mirror. While gluing together the fragments of their misguided souls, one can once again look at oneself in a mirror, even if the image is like a puzzle, made up of a thousand emotions, intertwined with each other, anguish, memories of lost buddies among sorrows and smiles of lost friendships.
A strong hug to all of them; brothers in the night, brothers forever.
In memory of my grandfather, I never knew.
Yosef Ciccarella
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I am one of those combat veterans. My wife was 20 years old when we married in 1967. A year and a half later, I left for Vietnam. She continued college, I flew as an Air Force combat pilot. Don’t know if she will watch this documentary. That year was very hard on her.
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Yes, that’s exactly why we made the film. To acknowledge all spouses, including your wife, for the struggles they’ve encountered in supporting our country’s warriors. The spouses have served our nation, too.
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I’ll see it but much too close to home!
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So glad you will watch. We didn’t make the film to throw a bad light on our warriors, but to say, “Hey! This is what happens to people when we send them off to war. We need to provide them with better services, support, and community!”
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I definitely want to see this. This article grabbed my attention as i married a War.
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Thank you, Vickie. I hope you find it meaningful. Today there are over 5.5 million of us in America alone. And think of all of those who came before us, down through the centuries.
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