It is important for those who have never served to take a moment to understand the solitary world of Veterans.
Millions of Veterans are and have been successful in all endeavors. They are doctors, lawyers, business people, and a thousand other professions. Not all have PTSD; not all are the troubled, brooding, street corner homeless guy, although they exist and need help desperately.
No matter how successful Veterans might be, more often than not, Veterans are often alone, mentally and spiritually each day and for the rest of their lives.
Veterans stories are all different, but some elements of the common experience exist.
Many Veterans experienced and saw and heard and did things in combat unimaginable to the average person.
They also lived a daily camaraderie that cannot be repeated in the civilian world. In fact, many veterans spend the rest of their lives seeking the same esprit de corps that simply is absent from their civilian lives and jobs.
They long to spend just 15 minutes back with the best friends they ever had, friends that are scattered to every corner of the earth, and some to the afterlife itself.
All Veterans have these thoughts nearly every day. Some may experience them for fractions of a second, or for minutes at a time. They replay over and over again like an endless 24-hour war movie.
Part of the solitary world of the veterans is being able to enjoy complete bliss doing absolutely nothing.
This is a trait grating to civilians who must constantly search for endless stimuli. Unbeknownst to them, the greatest thrill of all is just being alive.
A lot of veterans have an Obi-wan Kenobi calmness. After what they went through, how bad can anything really be?
As King said to Chris in Platoon, “Make it outta here, it’s all gravy, every day of the rest of your life – gravy…”
So many, if not all Veterans are haunted by visions of horror and death, by the guilt of somehow surviving and living the good life, when some they knew are gone. They sometimes, strangely wish that they were back in those dreadful circumstances, not to experience the dirt and horror and terror and noise and violence again, but to be with the only people a Vet really knows, other Veterans. As a result, they walk around each day lost in their own special story.
Waiting on the Medivac chopper
Most civilians are oblivious to the solitary life of the Veteran. But, it’s there. It’s the same eternal and universal philosophy, whether you fought in World War II, Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf War, Iraq or Afghanistan. The experiences may have been different, but the emotions are the same.
A problem with the solitary world of the vet is that the Veterans have a hard time explaining what he or she did to those who didn’t serve. Some vets want to talk, but they have no outlet. Maybe their only outlet is watching a war movie or reading a book about the conflict they were in.
How often do people say, “Grandpa never talks about Korea.” That’s because Grandpa knows no one can understand except other vets. That’s because Grandpa knows most people don’t care.
Civilians must understand that for Veterans nothing is ever the same again. Their senses can be suddenly illuminated by the slightest sound or smell or sights of death all around, a living version of Dante’s Inferno; sounds so loud that they can only be described as Saving Private Ryan in surround sound on steroids; smells vast and horrific; rotting death, burning fuel and equipment, rubber, animals and…people.
The smoldering ruins of life surrounding them
Part of this taciturn mentality is that vets speak another language, a strange and archaic language of their past.
How do you talk to civilians about “fire for effect” or “grid 7310” or “shake and bake” or “frag orders” or “10 days and a wake up” or a thousand and one other terms that are mystifying to the real world?
You can’t.
All of this adds to the solitary world of the vet. Some are better at handling life afterward than others. Some don’t seem affected at all, but they are. They just hide it. Some never return to normal. But, what is normal to a vet anymore?
This article (minus the photos) originally appeared on http://usdefensewatch.com/2015/11/the-solitary-world-of-a-vet/
[Ray Starmann is the founder of U.S. Defense Watch. He is a former U.S. Army Intelligence officer and veteran of the Gulf War.] Thank you, brother, for a great article…many readers will say that you wrote these words about them. God Bless!
This post was featured on the website for Naples Museum of Military History on December 5, 2017. To view other veteran articles, please visit them: https://naplesmuseummilitaryhistory.org/
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Should you have a question or comment about this article, then scroll down to the comment section below to leave your response.
If you want to learn more about the Vietnam War and its Warriors, then subscribe to this blog and get notified by email or your feed reader every time a new story, picture, video or changes occur on this website – the button is located at the top right of this page.
I‘ve also created a poll to help identify my website audience – before leaving, can you please click HERE and choose the one item best describing you. Thank you in advance!
Only a veteran could have written this. Only a veteran could have gotten it so accurate. It speaks for all of us. I must admit that I cried several times while reading it. It is good therapy that no PhD without the experience could ever write – only a veteran could have written this analysis of all of us veterans. It is good medicine. I will read it again and again.
LikeLike
Excellent post, John. Those who never wore the uniform will never know the kind of connection and bond those of us who did feel to our brothers and the experiences we shared. Here’s what I posted on Veterans Day:
https://ronaldyatesbooks.com/2019/11/happy-veterans-day-to-all-my-fellow-vets/
LikeLike
Great article. It describes me almost to a “T”.
LikeLike
A great article, and very true, thank you much!!! From Bob poff, formerly with C-1-8, 4th ID in Nam
LikeLike
Accurate and on point. In my case I didn’t speak of the war until 25 or more years after my service. Removed military experience from my resume. Now, 50 years later, in a retirement home, I have begun writing about my experience, nothing heavy, mostly humorous. I served with the 2nd Battalion 7th Cavalry, 1969/1970,
LikeLike
Read this somewhere written by a Viet Vet
“The boy I was was born in innocence.
The man I am was born in war.”
About says it all for me.
I was a Dustoff Medic
LikeLike
Very true you can’t understand if you were not there. You forget many things, but not that. 25 Infantry 66/67
LikeLike
Well said It’s the most brotherhood bonding ever.
LikeLike
every day was just described since I got back. Fox 2nd Bn 7th Marines 1st and 3rd Marine Divisions 1964 -1966 Hotel 2nd Bn 1st Marines 1966
LikeLike
I know this has been said many times over, but so well stated as walking truth.
LikeLike
Words well written. Sharing, even with your spouse and family, are futile and misunderstood. Thanks for writing.
LikeLike
Peace time WOLFHOUND AND FOREVER ONE At 86 years old .Still some of the guys I left in 1958 more than likely were called to go to Vietnam. 1st enlistment was 1948_1949 and I missed the Korean war. Got bless all those who served in combat and RIP BROTHERS AND SISTERS who didn”t make it .
LikeLike
First time I’ve read anything about what a VET goes thru after war.many things said I’m still going thru ,sometimes can’t except the fact Very,very good article
LikeLike
A very good post. Much was said about the reasons why veterans don’t discuss their experiences, but there’s one which I didn’t see mentioned, namely “Need to Know.” Many who served during Vietnam, as well as during the entire Cold War, ( Of which Vietnam was a part.), can’t discuss their experiences because they are still classified. During our separation, we all had to sign non-disclosure agreements, and even though they are decades old, we are still subject to them.
A lot of what we saw and did was disturbing and in many cases traumatic, but because we kept our word to keep our own counsel, there’s no one we can turn to for help. Indeed, one pays a great personal price for “keeping the secrets.” – myself included.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not only is this true for combat veterans, but also those of us who served in hospital units and dealt with the results of your battles. I was with the 22nd Surgical Hospital in Phu Bai (67/68), and we became the busiest surgical hospital in Nam during our first two months of operation (mid Mar to mid May 68)…our 60-bed unit treated 4,000 patients during that time. What we saw and dealt with day in and day out can never be removed from our minds.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Too rah buddy, sulute your service from an Australian Vietnam Vet,
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very good article.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for all your articles I read them and remember all the sights and sounds the heartache the laughs but most of all my brothers some are gone some aren’t. I worry about all of us who served at Camp LeJeune where the poison is killing us
LikeLiked by 1 person
great article, one that a combat veteran will understand, its been 51 years for me and most of the men i serve with or gone or out their in the world some where. I set off a land mine on Aug 5, 1967 with the 1st Bat. 27th Infantry Div., B company, a day i will never forget. Very hard to talk to people that never serve in a combat. Anyway great read.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True words about combat veterans, I changed jobs many times until I had a Guney for a boss worked for him till he retired then I had problems .
I am glad that you put it in writing for the rest of us .
545 M.P.C. 1st. Cav. In country 65-66
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great article something hard to explain. 50 years later doesn’t help. Trouble is I’m afraid you’re preaching to the choir. Glad to know the feeling is shared. Thank you Brother
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for giving us nons a glimpse, at least, into your shell-shocked life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Spot on in all aspects….tried a few times to explain when I first came home…got the deer in the headlights look……it was then I quit trying to describe events and conditions and just clamed up……when questioned I learned to just change the subject. In my mind I was saying fuck them….they will never get it!!
Alpha, 1st Battalion 27th Infantry Regiment 25th Infantry Division …..66,67,68
LikeLiked by 1 person
To Tony Zaskly,
Copy that !!!!!
82nd ABD 68/69
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wolfhounds for ever. B/1/27th 1967
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well stated, Tony. Easy Smith once said, to me, “we all wear a mask” which is profound and pretty well describes my life. Once Easy and I reconnected after 43 yrs I began to understand what was wrong with me. And our Wolfhound Reunions have changed my life the past 8 years. for the better!
Billy Allen, A Co/1/27/25thID. 67-68. Love ya, Brother, see ya in Lexington.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This article is right on, and entirely correct, when I came home I could spend endless hours in solitude, not talking just observing and making comments in my mind. Very strange I could not talk to people, wife, relatives not any of them A 2/7 1969
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for article, you’re right you know.
Spent adult life working in government jobs. The law enforcement jobs from which I retired are the closest to the military service. I would not have survived till retirement except for another Marine who had same experience as I even though he was a Hollywood Marine.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Here lies ( name veteran)
Spent most of his life alone.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My husband tried several times to explain the brotherhood (my word) of the Marines to me. The article was very similar to what he said many times. He was in Vietnam from December, 1967 to December, 1968. He was at KheShan for 61 days. One of few survivors. He often said that very few civilians could ever understand what the soldiers were ordered to do. Only you who have served in war are able to understand. My husband passed away in 2010. He was never released from the things he saw or did. My prayer is that all the combat soldiers may find release from the videos p!suing in their minds. Thank you all for your service.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like everyone should read this
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like I was looking into a mirror when reading the article. Well done thanks Big Red one 67-68
LikeLiked by 1 person
Never have truer words been spoken. Most people do not want to hear about it. If doing a presentation to middle/high school students: Did you kill anyone? We do not need to be reminded of the horrors of war as we have them everyday in our memories. Well written words for this article.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent article, Every one should read. Puts the war in perspective the way it should be explained.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good article
LikeLiked by 1 person