After fifty-five years, a Marine wrote an interesting poem during a writing workshop with a group of vets in Boulder, Colorado. The group was a mixed-gender/mixed-war (Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan) group. The group found the Vietnam Vet’s piece extraordinary, and Rachel Amaru sent it to me. Check this out!
When I think back to what I missed by spending the entire year of 1969 in Vietnam, it may not be what you think. Nothing back in the U.S. really existed for me. As far as I was concerned, nothing else concerned me other than what I saw in front of me. But later, I got curious.
In the early 1980s, I looked back to see what had happened and asked myself if the event meant anything to me.
![](https://cherrieswriter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/1969-bookx.jpg?w=210)
In January, Richard Nixon became my Commander-in-Chief.Ā
As for me, I didnāt care.
In February of that year, the Saturday Evening Post ended publication after over 140 years.
I didnāt care.
In March, I had my 20th birthday.Ā We celebrated it by dodging nineteen 122mm rockets into our position.
I had already accepted my own death, so I didnāt care.
In April, Charles De Gaulle stepped down as the President of France.
At that point, I really didnāt care.
In May, John Lennon and Yoko Ono did their āBed Inā to protest the war.
Yes. You got it. I didnāt care.
In June, Judy Garland overdosed on drugs.
Nope. I didnāt care.
On July 20th, while taking a break outside of a small Vietnamese village, one of my guys turned on his handy dandy transistor radio to Armed Forces Radio, and we heard the announcer say that Neil Armstrong had just set his feet on the Moon.
I kind of cared.
In August, something happened in someplace called Woodstock, New York. I didnāt even know what had happened. About three years later, I decided to look up what had happened at Woodstock.Ā
When I found out, I certainly didnāt care about that.
In September, I lost two of my good friends in a battle that we took part in on Que Son Mountain.
Nobody else cared, but I did.
In October, we got back to our home base. Twenty-six guys from our company didnāt make it back with us.
Hell, yes, I cared about that!
In November, I started thinking, āI just might survive this war.ā
I finally started to care.
At the end of December, I boarded what we called a āFreedom Bird,ā and we all applauded as the wheels left the ground. Then, we all became quiet and spent the rest of the journey in silence, trying to fathom what had happened over the last thirteen months.
We didnāt know how to care.
Fifty-five years later, in a small town in Colorado, I looked at my wife, my children, and my three grandchildren.
And I finally realized how much I care.
After all I missed way back then, I finally came to see how much I had gained. I have been taught how to care again. I learned how desperately I needed to feel compassion again and rediscover what true hope is. There was an old poem I remember reading some years ago. I donāt know the exact words, but it went something like this:
āLet me live in such a way, In some self-forgetful way,
Even when the world says ānay,ā I might live for others.
Though scarred, battered, and suffering filled my past.
May I live with love and hope, to humbly live for others.ā
Steve Sisson, USMC
Vietnam 1968-1969
*****
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I think we all had that feeling living in the bush. days turned into weeks, weeks into months. Then you saw you were short. You got nervous. because you where on patrol more. The guys looked to you for leadership. Glad I made it home.
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very revelant I was in Nam 1968-69 Marine corps on a hill 220 over rand by the NVA WIA awarded Bronze star for saving Marine buddies lives captured a NVA officer still have flash back and nightmares 55 years later born again by hearing the GOSPEL of the KING and HIS Kinngdom preached for 45 years non denomination was blessed by the LORD JESUS with the annointing to preach in prisons street minisrty to the homeless a lot of nam vtes saved by grace of GOD
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Thank you for your service, brother!
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Makes me thankful,Nice article, LIVE LAUGH LOVE !!!
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The poem speaks for so many of us who served in Southeast Asia during that time frame but think, in a way, it speaks for anyone who has served in a zone of armed conflict. Although I served in the U. S. Air Force (6/67 – 4/78), my time at Danang Airbase was the most memorable for good and bad reasons. My first night at Danang, early in the morning there was a rocket attackāfortunately, most of the rockets impacted outside the base perimeter. I was a crew chief on an AC-47D Spooky Gunship. After about three months, I became emotionally numb. When I returned to the States and my parents’ home to spend my accrued leave people treated me like I had just been gone for a long weekend. Mostly, I distanced myself from people and didn’t want to get close to anybody. For 36 years I worked for a company where my security clearance was vital for the job. I suspected that any sign of mental illness might get my clearance pulled and my job would go away. I couldn’t allow that to happen. The only people I let inside my shield were my wife, who I had met in the Air Force and our two children. Since retiring, I have volunteered for veteran-related events, activities and homeless veteran events. I am 77 and have health issues related to Agent Orange.
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I was senior corpsman for the provisional rifle company of 2st, flc/fsr. Later the senior corpsman of Bravo company 1st MP. And 3mp charlie company. I spent 31 months in the bush all together
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I feel the same way
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Welcome home Marine, welcome home
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You speak for a lot of us. Right on, Steve!
Jamie Thompson, C 5/7, 1st Cav, 1970-71
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great. Wish I could compile what I missed in 1967. There from Jan 67 til Jan 68. Thanks
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Thanks much for the poem. I “wasn’t there” from 2 Dec 1968 to 2 Dec 1969 with the Army Security Agency (Long Bien, Saigon and Phu Bai). Your “didn’t care” theme hits home but in the sense of the attitudes from those who really weren’t there. I used to think their indifference was because of their opposition to the war or their political views. However, in time, I finally concluded they just could not relate to what we experienced. Without that shared common experience being over there, regardless of what our jobs were in-country, they just weren’t interested and now I accept that disinterest. Fair that we served and they did not? I used to care a lot about that but now, well, that was a long, long time ago but I still pass on discussing it with those who didn’t go. They still just don’t care.
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Nicely said Steve. Couldn’t agree with you more so other than I had a one and a half year old and a loving wife waiting for me. That gave me great hope although I must admit to having similar feelings to what your words describe. Dustoff22 67/68.
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That says it all…jusr about!
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think that was the way most of us felt that were over there. But I think we all look back on our experiences while we were there for that time and thank God that we made it through that year or for how ever long one was there. And I know that turned us into men even tho we were just boys when we stepped off of the plane and arrived in country!
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Man, you said it all.
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Beautiful words, cleverly written and strongly felt in youth at a time of terror in a war of attrition!
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What an amazing poem. It can fit so many aspects of our lives. Such meaningful words felt during a terrible war of attrition !
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Captured the feelings very well. There are still some things we learned nmot to care about it might have served us well.
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Steve, it has been a true please knowing you for the time I have. I have always loved reading your stories you would post. Itās a way to get the trauma out. A way to heal. I often wonder what my father would have talked about if he had ever actually shared his experiences. Unfortunately, he took his to the grave. But you have the opportunity to share yours and allow people to have a very brief glimpse of what it was like.
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Ā I had already accepted my own death, so I didnāt care.
Poetic reality….69-70
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I was there in 69 and 70 running the rivers in canals in the Delta. I understand his sentiment and feelings very well. I share most of them. If you havenāt done it, you canāt explain it. Thereās a spot in you that never heals. As you get older, you learn to live with it better, but itās still hard!
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Thank you for making these words available for me to read. I spent many years in the US Army from 1979 – 1993. As a new private in the 25th ID in ā79 I was led and mentored by a lot of soldiers who had been I Vietnam, but were now winding up their military career. I learned a lot from these men and felt honored that they shared stories of their experiences with me when they didnāt have to. I understood they werenāt just stories, they were lessons that I could learn. Iāll never forget those men or the lessons they taught me. God bless you all who did what so many others would not do.
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The mindset says it all about our time in Nam.
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I was there at a different time (’69-’70), but I had many of the same feelings. Difference for me was that I was married with a child waiting for me to return, so I had something important to care about. Will never get over the feelings of having been viewed as expendable by our government and the American public in general.
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Pretty much sums up what most of us felt,although when I touched down in my home airport and my future wife and my sister and brother in law were there waiting for me,I realized how much I really did care about the really important things in life,thank you for your article brother,Iām glad you made it home!
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Several of my friends here in upstate New York have a vivid memory about the summer of 1969. They talk of the heat and the rain and the mud and the craziness of a most significant time and place where they joined up with about a half-million others, most at or about the same age. Yes, they were talking about Woodstock. I experienced some of the same things, but in a different place- I was on patrol again in the Central Highlands of Vietnam.
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Thank you so much for publishing Steveās poem. It was an honor to lead the writing workshop at the vetsā center, and Steveās poem was particularly poignant for the entire group.
Rachel
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I missed the birth of our first child. I missed a lot of hit songs and newsworthy events. On my flight home I found out that my best friend in Basic was killed while serving with the 4th ID as a combat engineer. I got home in May of 69 to find out most folks did not care about our war and just wanted it to go away. Agent Orange has taken its toll and here I am 55 years later thinking about Vietnam almost every day. Welcome home Marine.
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Was in Vietnam 10/1/68 to 12/13/1969 and never heard any news of what happened in the US. Can relate to everything he says.
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Thank you Steve for your service in Vietnam. Glad you made it home and the “caring gene ” kicked in once again” back in the world”.
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John, your link to the poll doesn’t seem to work. Just got a blank page.
Though I haven’t the time now, I will comment having been in Vietnam from the 4th of July 1968 to the 4th of July 1969.
The Air Force FAC controlling the air assets during The Battle of Camp Bunard-1969. Yes that was me, and another thank you for helping Robert Pryor and me reconnect for the first time. Sounds strange, but that’s what happened.
Captain Dick Gerry, O-1 ALO/FAC, Rod 11, Song Be, Phuoc Long Province.
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It seems to be working okay. Try another post to see if you get the same results.
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Lucky for me I took Jesus Christ with me to Viet Nam in 1968. I prayed daily for the safety of my fellow brothers, their families at home and mine. I lost 19 fellow brothers including my dearest friend. And I never doubted I would see them all again. I will be 77 the end of this year. So our time of being together grows even closer. What a blessed life this has been.
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Yes. I can relate totally. I WILL NEVER FORGET!
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I had to wipe away the TEARS to make this comment !
This Poem is so Heart Felt.
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