As a veteran, how do you feel when a stranger approaches and says WELCOME HOME or THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE when out in public? Here’s one man’s take on it:
By Robin Bartlett
The phrase ‘thank you for your service’ started to be used in the late ‘90s. It became even more popular in recognition of the heroism on the part of firefighters, police, and first responders in the attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11th and the War on Terror that followed. The saying is commonly used today to greet all veterans and active-duty soldiers as well as politicians and first responders. It is the “phrase du jour” for Veterans Day (originally Armistice Day) honoring those who served in the military, and Memorial Day (originally Decoration Day) honoring those who made the ultimate sacrifice in defense of their country.
But some veterans, especially Vietnam veterans, feel that the phrase is overused, and may even find it offensive. These men interpret the words as meaningless sentiments such as “Have a nice day” and react with a quiet, modest “thank you” all the while thinking they have no true understanding of the meaning of those words.
If you were a combat veteran in Vietnam, humped the boonies for a year, and placed your life on the line every day in service to your country, you often believe your actions deserve more respect than what is so commonly communicated by thank you for your service. Many Vietnam veterans believe that saying those words alleviates the civilian guilt for not having served. A common belief within my group is while I was humping the jungle and eating C-rations in that God-forsaken country, you were eating french fries in the food court at the mall.
An Uneasy Thanks
According to a Cohen Veterans Network poll commissioned in November 2019, 49% of veterans don’t actually like to be thanked and are uneasy with the expression thank you for your service.
Here is a quote from my book with permission given by Robert Flournoy from a Facebook post, Reflections of an Artillery Forward Observer with an Air Cav Rifle Company:
“Many of us arrived in Oakland 12 hours after leaving a fire base, some after walking point on a patrol, still wearing the red dirt of that duty, and were on the streets in civies a few hours later with some travel pay to make their way back to Ohio, Alabama, or New Jersey. And when the hugs and tears of our families were done with, we would look around, somewhat bewildered, with a head full of “what now?” Ensuing nights filled the mind with sounds of popping flares, and hammering of an M-60, the constant boom of artillery and the whop whop whop of Hueys coming and going, left us dazed and confused to have left all that behind so suddenly. Many of us sank into silence, most tried to explain our experience to uncomprehending parents, and spouses. So many sought the solace of fellow vets at the local VFW or Legion Hall, usually accompanied by liquor which too frequently led to loud, aggressive behavior. How many of us wanted to go back? Back to the jungle, to the fire bases that we hated, but where likeminded men with singular purpose treated us like brothers, silent respect and understanding hanging over us like a warm blanket. Our homecomings were, all too frequently, the beginnings of frustration and despair.
Yet, most just moved on, putting it all behind us. Regardless of how we handled the homecoming, there was never a welcome home feeling from our country much less from the people who never served. We didn’t look for it, expect it, or even think about it. It was a non-issue. So, Vietnam vets became an obscurity in the landscape of America, an awkward presence that most vets acknowledged with their own silence. But, decades later, when old ghosts started creeping out of their closets, and the wisdom of age made its way into their reflections, combat veterans from the Vietnam war began remembering their experiences in softer toned colors, instead of the garish bright reds and oranges that they brought home with them. A kind gentleness emerged as they sought their brothers from long ago. The greeting “welcome home” emerged not as a resentful “we never got a proper welcome”, but simply as a soft nod of the head to those who made it back so long ago. Two simple words that belong exclusively to them and their kin; brothers who know – as only they can know. Those men own the words, another right shoulder patch seen only by those who also wear one there.”
Vietnam vets are a special breed. We come in many shapes and colors. You will notice more and more of us these days as Vietnam veterans begin to walk in the boots of their WWII and Korean brothers. Some proudly wear ball caps denoting the unit in which they served with pins showing their decorations. Our hair is going grey. We have wrinkles on our faces, and some suffer from the ravages of age, battle wounds, PTSD, the scourge of toxic burning and Agent Orange. But as our numbers gradually decrease, just as our brothers in previous wars have faded, we ask only for a few kind words of acknowledgment that we served to protect the freedoms and life you now enjoy.
A Game changer
When you meet us, I encourage you to greet us with a phrase that shows you truly care and have a deeper understanding of those of us who served in our war. There is nothing wrong with saying thank you for your service and it is sincerely appreciated by most veterans. But if you want to tell us that you honor our sacrifice, bring lumps to our throats and tears to our eyes, say Welcome Home and watch the reaction. It’s a game-changer. How do you feel about it? Leave your comments below.
ADMIN: PERSONALLY, I LIKE “THANK YOU FOR YOUR SACRIFICE” WHICH COVERS NOT ONLY MY SUFFERING IN VIETNAM BUT ALSO WHAT I HAD TO ENDURE AFTER MY RETURN HOME.
Robin Bartlett has contributed earlier articles to this website. See below:
Helicopter Combat Assaults:
https://wordpress.com/post/cherrieswriter.com/22329
Here’s my book review of Robin’s book, VIETNAM COMBAT: FIREFIGHTS AND WRITING HISTORY:
If you wish to visit Robin’s website, here’s the address to his blog:
https://robinbartlettauthor.com/blog/
*****
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From Rakkaray
What an amazing diversity of comments on this topic! First off, I definitely prefer “Welcome Home” and to me I know the comment is from a fellow Vietnam Veteran or at least a close relation/friend. “Thank you for your service” doesn’t have nearly the same impact, but it usually doesn’t bother me. And it is fun when I hear it from an attractive young woman.
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Rakkaray
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However well meaning, thank you for your service is too cliched. I prefer “tell me about your service” which requires real engagement.
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I learned about this “Welcome home,” vs. “Thank your for your service,” from reading this blog and other Vietnam War literature.
I was in a diner one morning seated in a table close to a man with a Vietnam Veteran cap having breakfast with his wife. When his check came I quickly got up and grabbed it, telling him I wanted to pay. The man got nearly hostile and told me in no uncertain terms he was not going to let me do that.
I then looked him in the eye and said, “Welcome home, Soldier.” He softened. His eyes got moist, and he simply said, “Thank you,” and let me pay his check.
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I served in Vietnam. 1968 to 1970. C co. 2/327th infantry regiment 101st Airborne. When I hear “thank you for your service” I reply “thank you for your support” as I know many of those thanking me weren’t even born when I served. It’s a way for them to show support for the service I did. When I hear “Welcome Home” from a non Vietnam veteran I reply…”oh I’ve been home 55 years…bit late mate” When I hear “Welcome Home” from a Vietnam veteran…I understand that we welcomed ourselves home and it’s a good feeling. Brothers.
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I wrote a song called “Hero” for my dad who served in Vietnam and as a tribute to all Vietnam veterans. If you served there, you’re one of my heroes. Welcome home. 🙌🏻
And if you’d like to hear the song, you can’t find it on YouTube by searching: “vietnam hero song”.
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Thank you for sharing this. 💗
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I wrote a song for my dad who served in Vietnam. It’s called “Hero” and if you’re a Vietnam veteran, you’re a hero to me. Welcome home. https://youtu.be/ieoM9Z4xH6w?si=FngW32W7eySfnqNX
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When people thank me for my service I tell them to thank Lyndon Johnson because he was driving the bus. I was just along for the ride.
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We all did what was requested of us. We all gave all, but some did not survive, and those gave more. Those of us that survived, carried on for us the ones that did not make it. I worked with Quality Control. (101 st Airborne, Camp Eagle, A Co 5th Trans Battalion). Our Helipad was the size of a football field. We did all levels of Inspection and Repair. I worked with an Officer with accident inspections of aircraft flown in or sling loaded in. I had many investigations out in the field by myself. I was a licensed pilot and aircraft mechanic and accident investigator with the FAA. This was before I went into the Army. I did 60 investigations in the field during the 2 times I was there in Vietnam. I assisted in many more that were flown in, or sling loaded in. I could type, so I did all the necessary paperwork needed. I still look whenever I hear a Helicopter. A side note, I was a Helicopter Commander when on these missions. I was a Spec 4. All of the crew outranked me, except when we were on a mission. I was in charge then. Had A Full Bird get his nose bent out of shape over that. Two stars had a talk with him. It was of the loud side. Did not have a problem after that. What we did, with modifications, was cut the replacement time for lost aircraft from about 3 weeks to about 3 or 4 days. Had a surprise visit from 10 gentlemen with stars (2 of them had 4 ) We were able to update policies for all Military Branches when they lost Aircraft. Had lots of visits from all Branches to teach this system. I stayed in Aviation all my life. I was a pilot, licensed Airframe and Powerplant Mechanic. I have worked on, repair and inspect light aircraft, heavy aircraft, helicopters, gliders and hot air ballons. I also taught Aviation Mechanics for almost 24 years. Help teach about 1750 become licensed Aviation Mechanics. Loved Aviation.
Arnold H Fuller Tucson AZ
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I like to thank service men and women for their duty, if the situation seems agreeable to it. I remember when people used to get out of their vehicles, and stand with their hand over their heart when a funeral procession drove through the intersection.
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Within a few days I will celebrate being 78, with my close family and friends. In the past being “Thanked for my Honorable Service as a Marine 0311 fighting on the ground in Vietnam”, HURT, the LOSS of My wounded and killed Brothers drew out the pain I continue to experience to this Day!”. Why? After 3 Tours and surviving hundreds of combat Search & Destroy Missions, Ambushes and Major Battles with the South Vietnamese Viet Cong (VC) and the Hardened North Vietnamese Army Regulars. The memories of our wounded and dead Marines were the only thing that come to my mind. Upon my return to the USA, I was offered a ride to my parents home by The Commanding Officer at Marine Corps Base, MCRD San Diego. California. I declined his offer and asked to be dropped off at the closest Bus Stop! I want to ride that Bus to a Drug Store Near my Home to buy “Ice Cream” that I hadn’t had in 32 months. What was so significant about eating that “ Ice Cream Cone”? when I walked into the store and up to the Ice Cream Polar, Standing at the counter and buying herself a Cone, was my girlfriend’s Mother. I told the Clerk that I would like to pay for my and her Cones. Mrs. Meltzer, was shocked and hugged me so hard and was so Proud of me in my Marine Corps Dress Uniform and Medals! Too this Day that was and still is the only “Heart Felt THANK YOU that means everything to me! Ginny’s Daughter had been by my side to his day and I now know why God Saved Me!
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I personally prefer the “welcome home” greeting over “thank you for your service”. Somehow the latter makes me slightly uncomfortable and I have a hard time knowing how to respond.
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I don’t feel like I need to be thanked for my service. It was my honor and duty to be able to serve my country. I don’t think I will walk in anymore parades either as it makes me feel uncomfortable.
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My reply to folks saying “Welcome Home” or “Thank you for your service,” has always been “My privilege, my honor.” This quite often stops them in their tracks as they seemingly have to think about what I just said. Usually I can surmise that the men who say that never served – CPT, Advisor MACV, Laos 68-69
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Totally agree with this guy
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I got it now. They pissed me off in 2002., but finally came back to file my papers in 2023. In 2002, I had the diabetes, but the meds I weren’t allergic to weren’t in the formulary. The check they sent barely covered cost.
Finally went through it again this year. The neuropathy. The PTSD. The prostate cancer. And a host of other things. I waited to long because of the way I was treated back then.
Welcome home? First heard that in a canned speech at Baltimore VA in 2002. It was meaningful then still is. Thank you for your service? Not so much.
Regardless, serving was a privilege.
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The phrase is not entirely new. I read in a WW II history that a Civil War vet and a WW I vet thanked some soldiers at Ft Benning for their service – before they deployed. But, sure, it made a come back in the 1990’s. long overdue. I am not a VN vet, but did serve in the Iraq war. I appreciate the thanks you – as far as it goes. I wear a couple of war ball caps – always hoping to connect with other vets. When I hear the thank you from kids, that does touch me a bit.
Tom
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To little to late. Only decided to thank us or welcome home after the popularity of Iraq and Afgan vets. So rings hollow 50 years after serving. 25th Inf Div. 69-70
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Welcome home. In 1971, as an officer in the 3d Armored Cavalry, based at Ft. Lewis, WA. I met a planeload of troops returning from Viet Nam at 0400 hrs at McCord Air Force base, I was the ‘welcoming’ person with one of those “other duties as assigned” task. I read from a prepared script, ‘The President of the United States……etc.” One Tropper said, “What, no fucking band?” I saluted and repeated my script. My active-duty time was from May, 1969 to April, 1972. My personal mystery of life was why I was never ordered to “Never Never Land”. e.g., Viet Nam. That statement and memory, with the visceral sensory of a group of tired men, many in jungle fatigues, the humidity and odor when the plane’s door were opened, and the above statement has never left my memory. WELCOME HOME.
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Welcome Home !
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I was not treated badly when I returned in 1970. A lot of people wanted to understand what it was like. I’m a bit uncomfortable about hearing thank you for your service. I’m not sure why. I say thank you. I bought a 1st Aviation Brigade hat when I was 70. I wear it to VA appointments and hope to meet someone I knew. It’s never happened. I consider my 2 years of service to be unproductive, but I’m not angry. I feel that I’ve earned the right to say my piece around folks I disagree with. I feel that fellow Nam Vets are brothers.
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my response is “it seemed to be the right thing to do at the time!”
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I didn’t hump the boonies, I flew those of you who did, Blues, LRPS, got a few wooden nickels, from hot missions and a heart felt ‘Welcome home’ means a lot! Thanks for the article!
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dude……you nailed it. 👍🇺🇲✌
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Would you be interested in reading my book. A Marines Daughter by Al Hague
On Amazon and in Kindle.
Thank you welcome home.. Al Hague
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Just my opinion…
Even though it is hard not to, I feel that holding on to and harboring resentment about the past rejection and unjust disrespect that I faced upon returning home from a thankless war, really serves no purpose today, other than to make me appear as a bitter old man.
When I take a closer look, and look into the eyes of those persons who are offering their sentiments of gratitude today, they are in most cases younger than me. To them, I am the old man now. They are not the perpetrators of the past ignorant iniquity.
Most of the ones who I see that are offering expressions of their sentiments of welcoming gratitude are my children’s generation, 40 – 50+ year-olds. In some cases, they are the ages of my grandchildren, who are being taught to do the right thing and show respect. I am proud of them for wanting to do so.
I reply in a most encouraging way to the next generation who wants to show patriotic respect to an old vet. Doing so teaches our children and grandchildren that every generation of veterans, past, present, and future, were and are honorable men and women who have served and hard-earned their respect.
When a well-meaning person takes the time to say, “Welcome home” or “Thank you for your service,” I stand as tall as my bad back will allow, and I smile the best a bitter old man can, and I thank them, while giving them the new generational fist bump.
Try it. I feel better about myself when I do.
Robert Kuhn, 1/22nd Infantry.
Author, Rucksack Grunt.
Rucksackgrunt.com
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Nicely said, Robert!
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When I returned from VN still in uniform, I was greeted by a hippie girl who asked me “How many babies did you kill”.
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My compliments on your article. Ptpeople say thank you for your service because it is difficult to get past the cliche. there is an article in the ny times 5 or 6 years ago entitled A Pale Smoke. worth reading.
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A PALE SMOKE was posted on my website via a guest posting. Read it here: A Pale Smoke (Guest) Post – CherriesWriter – Vietnam War website
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Thank you for this, I fit right in with the 49%. I have come to grips with the thank you phrase, however I wish people would leave it alone. I did not hump the boonies I flew the Huey, approx 2000 plus combat hours, over 2 1/2 tours. I would have stayed in RVN but made to come home. I stayed in the Army because I did not fit in with civilians. Evan after retirement I found civilian life comfortable. I avoided non military friends for the most part and it took me another 20 years before I wore anything military or RVN related.
This article was most comforting because I found I am not alone with my feelings.
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54 years on, I’m still a little angry, only tell other veterans “ FU” if they say it, politely nod to others. WIA on 22 NOC69, landed in Brooklyn Naval yard 1DEC69, spent last six months in St Albans & Manhattan VA. The media, shows on tv seemed to show VN vets as sweaty junkies in the early ‘70’s, my impression. Things I heard…” what? Didn’t you have anything better to do”. That one stayed with me.
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I think this story is pretty spot on for the life we led and live as Cobat Viet Nam Veterans. I buried my experience as much as I possibly could from the day I came home until roughly 30 years later. Thanks to my wonderful, understanding wife, she made it possible for me to finally start talking about my experience. It opened some wounds but overall started the healing process. It’s true we were not shown appreciation upon our return however, it was a very confusing and changing time for our Country.
I think the protesters sent us a bad message but did help contribute to bringing an end to a horrible war. I was a Tank Commander with 1/1 Cavalry in Viet Nam 1969/1970. I am 73 years old now and thankful I still am reasonably healthy. About two years ago I was finally assessed by doctors outside of the VA and receive benefits (compensation for hearing loss, PTSD and a few other things.
I am grateful for the welcome homes and respect I receive for my service.
We learned a valuable lesson from the Viet Nam War, Veterans all receive plenty of gratitude for protecting our Great Nation.
My Bedst,
Edward Duncan
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I was in Vietnam 9/69-9/70. Originally with the 82nd Airborne and then with the 199th LIB. I was an infantry platoon leader ( OCS grad) with both groups. With the 199th, I was the platoon leader of the Recon Platoon. We were involved with numerous firefights-the worst on 12/8/69 when I lost Bill McCarron. Those days are still with me daily!
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It is 3, or 4 decades late, not that it matters now as some 57 years have past. If it is truly meant, I can understand why they say it. But it is like saying “Have a Good Day”, and when I feel it is more of a cliche’ , it touches a raw nerve. What really gets under my skin is Memorial Day & Veterans Day, the only people who go to those solemn events are folks related to a veteran, or who lost a loved one in Harm’s Way. For most of society it is just a good reason for a ‘Sale’, and the meaning of the day for most is an extra day off. There is nothing in it for Veterans except to remember those not there.
In January, Hilo Hosted “The Wall That Heals” The Vietnam Traveling Wall, it’s very first trip to Hawaii, and the biggest Veterans Event in Hawaii since the Pearl Harbor Ceremonies honoring WWII Vets. I was honored to Chair that event as an Infantry combat veteran and advocate for our aging comrades. The Hilo Community as well as the entire State came to honor those who are inscribed upon that magic healing Wall. There were 48 Families & Friends of those Fallen Souls that showed to escort their Panel to the Wall. The average number of Panels escorted to the Wall for a display is 6, average attendance is 6-8,000, we had over 23,000. I am proud of our community for showing the Vietnam Veterans and the Families who love them such overwhelming respect. It truly was a “Welcome Home Celebration”. Then there was the ceremonies that were Overwhelmingly Awesome to include a F-22 Raptor Missing Man Flyover, flower drops, The Royal Hawaiian Guards and so many special moments of “Wall Magic” that honored our week with Spectacular Weather (no rain in Hilo for the 2 weeks period). Yes it was a weel of “Thank You For Your Service” & Welcome Home
Michael Doolittle, Chairman, Hawaii County Committee
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As for myself, I’ve never been put off by “Thank you for your service”. That simple phrase is far more than I ever received in the first 25 years after coming home. I just reply “it was my honor and privilege”. My statement is personal to me as it reflects NOT on the war or the government, but on the people I served, bled and bonded with, my Brothers and Sisters for life. I prefer to hear “Welcome Home” from a vet. They know what and why they’re saying it and it is sincere. Even my family, who were ecstatic when I returned home, never knew how to broach the subject of Vietnam, so it was avoided. I guess they felt asking about Nam would bring it to the surface with unknown results. I never talked about it myself.
Outside of a few combat vets I met (and it was one of those who was the first to say “Welcome Home” to me, it was 1995 the first time a stranger, an older woman, said “thank you for your service”. I did not know her, and wore nothing that would indicate I was a veteran, so I asked her “how did you know I was a veteran?” She replied…”your motorcycle was loud when you pulled in to park, and when I looked where the noise was coming from, I saw your Purple Heart license plate. I always say thank you to any veteran I see, and always will”. That was one of my better days since 1970. C Co, 1/6 198th LIB Americal 1970
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I believe our Vietnam Veterans Brotherhood has become the strongest and most emotional of any Veteran war group in the history of our country. Our emotional strong bond is a consequence of the ingrained memories of the anti-war movement deflected to us…the unsung soldiers; the deep-rooted feelings of betrayal that the crippling rules of engagement with a mind-set to achieve political ends conveyed; and the painful memories of the disloyalty displayed at our homecomings with the insults, name calling, and ungratefulness.
Time marches on and times have certainly changed but one thing is certain, time has not erased those deep-rooted memories of the war because of the fear they implanted, those mixed feelings because of the betrayal they conveyed, and those pent-up feelings demanding to be released. And now, many years later with Vietnam Veteran social media groups at the point those deep-rooted memories have strongly united us, and some of those pent-up emotions of the war are finally being released.
People don’t recognize that I’m a Vietnam Veteran unless I’m wearing my Vietnam Veteran hat. I have mixed emotions when people welcome me home. Has it become a trite expression? Let me relate it to wearing my Vietnam Veterans hat.
For a number of years I didn’t wear a Vietnam Veterans hat. And then when I finally bought one I only wore it on Veterans Day. I asked myself, why did I wear it just one day a year? I wasn’t ashamed of my service. Was it because I didn’t want to bring attention to myself because of what had been scratched into a dark place of my memory–the unpopularity of the war, the dissention directed at us, the insults and ungratefulness in the days that followed the deployment, and the fact that many of my high school friends had deceptively cleared their consciences of guilt by taking one of the “loopholes” to evade the draft, or those who found justification by jumping on the “popular” anti-war band wagon?
When retired, I finally decided to wear it. What I have learned over the years when wearing it is that little has changed. People’s attitudes and reactions when I wear the hat varies. The 60’s-70’s antiwar group, and many millennials are the “rubber-neckers” today who walk up to see what the hat represents and sheepishly walk on by. For many of them history has been rewritten, or erased, and now are lost in their own thoughts and their narrow-mindedness.
However, you “feel” the heartfelt response, ‘thank you for your service” from those who recognize what the hat represents. Those who recognize the hat do so with respect–brothers who have served, their family members; family members who have one currently on active duty; and those who have been raised to respect the military. And today after over 50 years, I heard, not only thank you for your service…but God bless you for you service! And there are other special moments when the “welcome home” expression is not trite.
When we meet our brothers who served for healing comes as a hostage just released, for us, the unsung soldiers of Vietnam will welcome each other home.
If I didn’t wear my hat I wouldn’t of had an unforgettable experience talking with a grateful man, and a true patriot. He noticed my Vietnam Veterans cap and had gone out of his way to thank me for my service. We both had tears well up in our eyes as he told me his story about how he fled Vietnam on the last day with only his father. It was his goal to serve our country. He was deployed as a medic in the Army and served in Afghanistan. I thanked him for his service.
And Melissa Tuel heartfelt response to my social media post about the brotherhood. “This post is a great description of the atmosphere at The Wall when my husband and I were there in November. Numerous vets hugged me (and others) and thanked me for volunteering to read. Most vets seemed surprised and moved that Americans are now honoring and thanking them for their service. May they never be forgotten?”
Why carry the wars emotional baggage for so long? I now wear it almost daily, and with pride. It’s not us veterans who transmits any guilt. It’s not us that harbors any shame. Wearing the cap doesn’t say, “Look at me.” It validates the pride I have for carrying my sworn duty to serve honorably for our country during a troubled time in our history. However, most importantly, putting it on recaps my thoughts to remember those who have their names etched in black granite.
However, now that the eighth decade is here it’s getting harder and harder to represent the Vietnam hat with a military bearing. It’s like the photo of the slouching old Veteran who looks at himself in the mirror and sees himself as a 20 year old soldier in his dress uniform- standing at attention-tall and firm. On my morning walks I try to walk with a military bearing–heel & toe, shoulders back, and head upright with the ears over the shoulders. However, often when the sun is at my back and I see my shadow on the pavement—I see…the old Veteran-you visualize the one. When I put on the hat it stirs in me the patriotism and validates the pride I had for carrying out my sworn duty to serve honorably for our country during a troubled time in our history. However, most importantly, it recaps my thoughts to remember those who have their names etched in black granite. When it’s all over for me-put me in a pine box covered with an American flag. And, have an honor guard play taps. And I pray that God will welcome me home.
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Thank you, brother Tom!
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I believe our Vietnam Veterans Brotherhood has become the strongest and most emotional of any Veteran war group in the history of our country. Our emotional strong bond is a consequence of the ingrained memories of the anti-war movement deflected to us…the unsung soldiers; the deep-rooted feelings of betrayal that the crippling rules of engagement with a mind-set to achieve political ends conveyed; and the painful memories of the disloyalty displayed at our homecomings with the insults, name calling, and ungratefulness.
Time marches on and times have certainly changed but one thing is certain, time has not erased those deep-rooted memories of the war because of the fear they implanted, those mixed feelings because of the betrayal they conveyed, and those pent-up feelings demanding to be released. And now, many years later with Vietnam Veteran social media groups at the point those deep-rooted memories have strongly united us, and some of those pent-up emotions of the war are finally being released.
People don’t recognize that I’m a Vietnam Veteran unless I’m wearing my Vietnam Veteran hat. I have mixed emotions when people welcome me home. Has it become a trite expression? Let me relate it to wearing my Vietnam Veterans hat.
For a number of years I didn’t wear a Vietnam Veterans hat. And then when I finally bought one I only wore it on Veterans Day. I asked myself, why did I wear it just one day a year? I wasn’t ashamed of my service. Was it because I didn’t want to bring attention to myself because of what had been scratched into a dark place of my memory–the unpopularity of the war, the dissention directed at us, the insults and ungratefulness in the days that followed the deployment, and the fact that many of my high school friends had deceptively cleared their consciences of guilt by taking one of the “loopholes” to evade the draft, or those who found justification by jumping on the “popular” anti-war band wagon?
When retired, I finally decided to wear it. What I have learned over the years when wearing it is that little has changed. People’s attitudes and reactions when I wear the hat varies. The 60’s-70’s antiwar group, and many millennials are the “rubber-neckers” today who walk up to see what the hat represents and sheepishly walk on by. For many of them history has been rewritten, or erased, and now are lost in their own thoughts and their narrow-mindedness.
However, you “feel” the heartfelt response, ‘thank you for your service” from those who recognize what the hat represents. Those who recognize the hat do so with respect–brothers who have served, their family members; family members who have one currently on active duty; and those who have been raised to respect the military. And today after over 50 years, I heard, not only thank you for your service…but God bless you for you service! And there are other special moments when the “welcome home” expression is not trite.
When we meet our brothers who served for healing comes as a hostage just released, for us, the unsung soldiers of Vietnam will welcome each other home.
If I didn’t wear my hat I wouldn’t of had an unforgettable experience talking with a grateful man, and a true patriot. He noticed my Vietnam Veterans cap and had gone out of his way to thank me for my service. We both had tears well up in our eyes as he told me his story about how he fled Vietnam on the last day with only his father. It was his goal to serve our country. He was deployed as a medic in the Army and served in Afghanistan. I thanked him for his service.
And Melissa Tuel’s heartfelt response to my social media post about the brotherhood. “This post is a great description of the atmosphere at The Wall when my husband and I were there in November. Numerous vets hugged me (and others) and thanked me for volunteering to read. Most vets seemed surprised and moved that Americans are now honoring and thanking them and welcoming them home for their service. May they never be forgotten?”
Why carry the wars emotional baggage for so long? I now wear it almost daily, and with pride. It’s not us veterans who transmits any guilt. It’s not us that harbors any shame. Wearing the cap doesn’t say, “Look at me, welcome me home.” It validates the pride I have for carrying my sworn duty to serve honorably for our country during a troubled time in our history. However, most importantly, putting it on recaps my thoughts to remember those who have their names etched in black granite.
However, now that the eighth decade is here it’s getting harder and harder to represent the Vietnam hat with a military bearing. It’s like the photo of the slouching old Veteran who looks at himself in the mirror and sees himself as a 20-year-old soldier in his dress uniform- standing at attention-tall and firm. On my morning walks I try to walk with a military bearing–heel & toe, shoulders back, and head upright with the ears over the shoulders. However, often when the sun is at my back, and I see my shadow on the pavement—I see…the old Veteran-you visualize the one. When I put on the hat it stirs in me the patriotism and validates the pride that I had for carrying out my sworn duty to serve honorably for our country during a troubled time in our history. However, most importantly, it recaps my thoughts to remember those who have their names etched in black granite. When it’s all over for me-put me in a pine box covered with an American flag. And, have an honor guard play taps. And I pray that God will welcome me home.
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Well spoken. I enjoy the thanks and motives of people who I believe are grateful and sincere. I couldn’t care less about the others. As for the “slouch”, it just means we’ve lived a lot longer that we thought we would…….50+ years ago. For the record, I just bought my first Vietnam Vet hat this year, at age 74. Welcome Home, Brother. 1/6 198th LIB Americal 1970
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I don’t really care if someone acknowledges me a lot of them really don’t care or understand about us. I feel good about what I did and have no regrets. When someone does acknowledge me I smile and say thank you. The main reason I wear a hat is to met other veterans. I belong to the DAV so if I can help veterans with something it’s a very satisfying time in my life.
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That is about as well as I have heard it explained. It wasn’t so much the combat or living in the jungle like an animal for a year. It was the general feeling that no one wanted to know or hear anything about the experience. So being silenced for 30 years has left a very bitter stain on my soul. I smile, nod and ignore them unless they are another veteran. Yes, it has left me feeling bitter.
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Excellent article. I am happy with any acknowledgement for my service. Always proud that I served and thankful that I returned and still many good Americans that remember our sacrifices.
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‘The Trail’ was so very well done. Thank you!
When a younger fellow citizen says, ‘welcome home’, or ‘thank you for your service’, I appreciate the thought. (Unfortunately, the vast majority of these fine young folks are totally disconnected from military service, and have no ‘skin in the game’.) When an older fellow citizen (non-veteran) says ‘welcome home’, or ‘thank you for your service’, I immediately think that that person may have been a protester, draft dodger or did not support the combat troops. But it’s ‘in’ to support the veterans today. I’m cordial when I hear the phrases from folks my age, but, unfortunately, I don’t buy it.
USMC, Vietnam ’69 – 70. Platoon Leader. 2 PH.
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IMO, the phrase “thank you, for your service,” from someone who was not in Vietnam, is similar to a customer thanking a waiter for serving a meal to that customer. Therefore, I prefer the phrase, “thank you, for your sacrifice,” because it reflects the sacrifice of those who survived their Vietnam tours and those who made the ultimate sacrifice of their lives in Vietnam.
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As the wife of a Vietnam veteran, the most touching time “thank you for your service” was said, came from a little boy, whose Mother is raising him right. In Las Vegas once, someone sent us a round of drinks at an expensive hotel, others elsewhere have paid for our breakfast several times. We try to pay it forward by buying a meal anonymously for a service person in uniform, or a police officer in line. I like “Welcome Home” & I always thought it was only for Veterans to say to each other, so thanks for the clarification.
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When someone says thank you for your service I wonder if they are also thanking me for killing people in Vietnam.
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I have spent my life trying to avoid any thing where I admit to being a veteran from Viet Nam. I hate going to Veterans Day celebrations and being asked to stand and be recognized. I just want to be allowed to be left alone and never be thanked for my service. I was hated and despised when I came home. Nothing can change that. Leave me alone and I will fight the V A for the health care I should get without question.
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Great Article and I must agree. Welcome Home works for me!!!!!
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welcome home. not from a vet, not from a soldier. i am interested in military history, read about it every day. i am from the netherlands.
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Why now, after over 50 years.? Don’t mean nuthin.
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Well said and I agree. Welcome Home is a lot better than thank you for your service though I’ll say thank you when it is said.
VN 1968-1970
CIB, Aircraft Crew, 2 PH’s
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I came home in 1965. Saying Welcome Home to me is meaningless. I smile and say thanks.
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agree to all that was said except I still do not want to her thanks for your service. Too little too late. I deal with it much better and this fb site is so helpful on dealing with feeling. Some pictures can bring back forgotten memories but again dealing with them is fine
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I never knew how to take it either way. We (Combat Vets) 1st Air Cav. 10/68-10/69..Saw the worst of war. We never talked about it ..either did the men who stormed the beaches of Normandy..How was it? It was F..horrible, madness..And we were not treated very well when we returned..
I think the post was right on about it and it is weird now they want to buy us a cup of coffee..I say it’s a bit late for this ..keep your F..Money..
but I (we) are blessed and I don’t give a 🐀 ass about those people. I just say thanks and keep moving…”It don’t mean Nothin”
bq
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well said
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I was an Infantry platoon leader and Company Commander with 3/47th, 9th Infantry Division in 68-69.
My welcome home other than my family, came when a friend and I, with Pentagon approval, founded a non profit to assist post 9/11 Veterans earn gainful employment. From 2009 to 2014, we succeeded in assisting over 1500 do just that. And with word of mouth referrals to the companies that hired them, that number is probably double.
My partner was not a veteran because of physical deferments, but when he introduced me to an audience of usually 400 Soldiers who got off a plane from Afghanistan and Iraq 24 hours earlier, he spoke of my service in Vietnam, some of the medals I had received. Without exception there was a standing ovation. After our presentation, many of those Vets came by and “welcomed me home”.
Their respect for what we endured both on the battlefield, and when we returned home was enormous. Amazing.
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Yes, it’s true. The greeting “thank you for your service” really is the equivalent of “have a nice day”, but it’s better than nothing. If the speaker was really sincere, he/she would take the time to insert a personal thought. Otherwise, I accept the trite greeting as better than nothing…but not by much. It’s something the population hangs on to without taking the time to be a little more original or sincere.
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I think ‘thank you for your service’ was trying to make up the horrid way you were treated when you came back from Vietnam.
I remember watching the 5:00 follies. I was angry that you were used as scape goats for the governments actions. You were following orders like every army from the beginning of time.
Yes, ‘welcome home’ is what you needed. It is for you not me.
Welcome home, I am glad you made it home.
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My husband is a Vietnam Veteran and he says it’s nice to hear Welcome Home but likes to hear thanks for his service because he takes it as the well meaning statement by someone who took the time to acknowledge him. We have had everyone from small children,teens, etc come up to him.and he is touched by each gesture.
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well said from a Vietnam vet and welcome home
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